iPlay a videogame
by Averted Aesop
Summary: Sam Puckett is at her very best and very worst in this short little ficlet.


The two Shay siblings were enjoying a quiet Sunday afternoon at home. Spencer was working on his latest sculpture, a flower in steel and concrete, while Carly was reading a Jane Austen novel. There was some light snowing outside, contributing to the peaceful atmosphere.

"Hmm, Spencer, why do I feel like this is the quiet before the storm?" Carly asked Spencer.

"I don't know. Maybe it's just gas from that omelet you had for lunch?"

"I don't have omelet gas!" Carly huffed.

Spencer was just about to deliver a hilarious one liner about gas when he was interrupted. In through the door burst, the destroyer of peacefulness, the menace of Seattle, a petite blond named Sam Puckett. The girl had apparently been running because she was panting heavily and was a bit red in her face.

"What's the matter? Is anything wrong? Carly asked worriedly and left the couch.

Sam stood with her hands on her knees for a while and took a few deep breaths before speaking.

"Wrong? No, no, no, no! It's finally here."

"What?"

"Brütalizer IV: Bloodguzzler. Theee most anticipated game of the year. It's finally here." Sam said and held up a copy of said game.

"All this for some game?"

"Not some game, Carls. The most horrifically brutal and excellent fighting game ever. Every single parents organization has dreaded it's release. Every single religious organization has hailed it as a sign of impending apocalypse. Every single person over 25 who has played has died of a heart attack."

"How can that possibly be true if the game just came out today?" Carly questioned.

"Well...it's true in a symbolic sense. The point is it's here and we're going to play." Sam said as she put the game in the console.

"Ok, let's play." Carly said with an amused smile.

While Carly really didn't care about this game it was quite entertaining to see Sam so enthusiastic. Sam was only enthusiastic when it came to food and violence.

"Carly, should the two of you really play such a violent game?" Spencer asked.

"Yes, it is OK for us to play." Carly answered matter of factly.

Spencer simply shrugged and returned to his sculpture.

After some heavy hard rock chords and a few useless screens it became time to choose fighter.

"Who should I pick?" Carly asked.

"Well Pukor, the acid puking alien is good for beginners. He's weak and slow, but his acid puke is quite dangerous. Most of these characters have been in the earlier games so I think in know them." Sam expertly explained.

"Who is that cute little girl? She shouldn't be in a game like this." Carly asked.

"Ohh, that's Lucy the Possessed. She's powerful, but hard to control."

"I think I'll chose the big guy here."

"Hmm, Carl the Cannibal Giant. He's slow but strong."

"Who are you going with?"

"I'm going with Gortok the Ogre and his spiked club. Let's play!"

Five matches later and Carly had barely managed to land one hit Not even when Sam played with the weakest characters, Zack the Zombie who's only weapon was to bite and who was so mushy that he could barely take a hit.

"You're so lousy Carly." Sam sighed.

"I know, I'm good at Sims though." Carly said with an apologetic look.

"That's not the worst part. The worst part is that I like you too damn much to mock you properly for being so lousy." Sam complained.

"I'm sorry for being so likable." Carly retorted with a smirk.

"I need to play against someone who I'll feel good about mocking like...FREDDIE!"

"You could just go over there knock you know." Carly admonished.

"I know, but it's funnier this way. FREDIEEEEE!"

"You're incorrigible." Carly chuckled.

"I don't know what that means, but I say thank you. FREDIEEEEE!"

"What?" Freddie said as he came in through the door.

"I just wanted to invite you take part in the fun of playing this game." Sam said with a fake sweet smile on her face.

"You just want play against me so that you can humiliate me when you win." Freddie correctly guessed.

"What? Me? I'd never do anything like that." Sam said with hurt look on her face.

"You're so full of it, but I'll play. You keep calling me a nerd all the time, but guess what? Nerds are great at video games and I will kick your ass Sam."

"As if" Sam scoffed.

The first fight soon got underway. Sam had chosen Gortok, her favorite. Freddie however went with Lucy the Possessed. This had resulted in some predictable mockery from Sam, comparing Freddie to a little girl. As it turned out however, her mockery was premature.

"Ha! I just ripped out your spine!" First round to me." Freddie said triumphantly.

"Beginners luck!" Sam scoffed and prepared for the next round.

Unfortunately for Sam it wasn't beginners luck. Freddie completely dominated the game and this round ended with Lucy beating Gortok to death with his own leg.

"In your face, Sam Puckett. I am the king. Kneel for me and kiss my stinky toes you lowly underling." Freddie gloated.

Sam simply uttered some kind of growl before asking for a rematch.

"Sure, I can play again. That way you can perhaps learn something from the master."

Sam was very close to physically attack Freddie but a stern look from Carly kept her from doing so.

The second fight started, this time Sam used Swampmonster Slimeyson while Freddie used Gortok, but the results were the same. Freddy pummeled Sam and ended the round by impaling Gortok on a fence post. For some strange reason though Sam seemed unusually calm about this. She did however push a few buttons on her cellphone.

"Take that!" Freddie said as he landed the first punch in the second round, causing slime to leak from Sam's character.

"Is that the best trash talk you can muster?" Sam asked.

"I don't need to trash talk when I'm so much better than you!"

Fred then went on to succeed with a special attack sending Swampmonster up in the air and then land another kick as it landed.

"I'll completely crush you! I'm gonna feast on your flesh to celebrate this victory." Freddie said, actually describing a feature of the game called gloating mode where you could desecrate the corpse of your opponent in various ways.

"I can't believe this!" Mrs. Bensen said as she suddenly appeared in the door.

"Mom!?" Freddie said

"That's right young man. And you're coming with me. You're not allowed to play games like these. We're gonna watch the Bridges of Madison County together so that you'll forget all about this horrible game."

Freddie was about to say something in his defense, but a stern look from his mother told him it was best to be quietly and he dejection followed is mother out the door.

"What?" Sam asked.

Carly too had a very stern look on her face.

"I know what you did Sam. You called his mother so that she heard what was going on and then you manipulated Freddie into saying those things so that she would come and get him.

For a brief moment Sam considered lying, but she knew she was caught.

"I'm sorry." Sam said meekly.

"No you're not. You're a manipulative sore loser and you can't fool me."

"But you kinda love me anyway?" Sam asked.

"That I do." Carly admitted.

"Great. Now let's eat some ham."

Carly sighed as she went after Sam into the kitchen. Sam might have her share of bad sides, but one thing was sure. Sam could sure make a quiet afternoon very interesting.

And then Spencer's steel and concrete flower randomly caught on fire.

THE END.


End file.
